SOME FUNNY TALES AND SOME NOT-SO-FUNNY TO REMIND US SAFETY COMES FIRST!

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Crash Course in Crowd Safety...Steering Clear of Danger!

There’s something to be said about an event that draws a big crowd. Festivals, parades, conventions—these gatherings always have a certain buzz, an electric hum that reminds you why humans love to congregate. We thrive on community, shared experiences, and the collective memory of a good time well had. But recently, their has been truly disturbing incidents involving vehicles used as weapons at large events—one in New Orleans, another in Las Vegas. Suddenly, that hum of excitement can morph into a hum of tension, confusion and fear!

From Chaos to Clarity...How a Daily Job Briefing Changes Everything!

A daily job briefing is that quick, no-nonsense huddle before the real work starts. It’s where everyone gets on the same page about who’s doing what, how to stay safe, and which pitfalls to avoid. Think of it like a road map to help you dodge hazards, keep your limbs attached, and maybe even finish on time. It’s the moment to raise your hand and say, “Wait—where’s that live wire, again?” before you learn the hard way. In other words, it’s your daily dose of sanity in the sometimes messy business of getting the job done.

Cheap Tools, Big F*cking Lawsuits! Why Employers Are Screwing Themselves

Now, let’s talk about a question that’s bubbling up more and more these days: when companies require employees to buy their own tools, are they opening themselves up to lawsuits and safety headaches? Let’s roll up our sleeves and figure this out.

Cost-Shifting vs. Safety: When Cheap Tools Lead to Pricier Problems

The other day I found myself in a conversation I never expected to have. Why is there an entire cottage industry dedicated to half-melted plastic hammers? More specifically, how on Earth did we reach a point where so many folks are being asked to buy their own subpar hammers, only to swing them in the line of duty?

How to Avoid Busting Your Ass at Work

Let’s face it: Work can already feel like a slow-motion wipeout some days. Add a slick floor, a rogue cable, or some poorly placed tools into the mix, and suddenly you’re reenacting a slapstick comedy nobody signed up to watch. Today, we’re talking about slips, trips, and falls—the unholy trinity of workplace injuries that’s out to turn your 9-to-5 into a full-body workout (minus the fun and gains).

Stop Dancing with Danger

Look, folks, I’ve done some filthy jobs in my time, but you know what’s dirtier than a clogged septic tank? Ignorance. And it doesn’t just stink—it hurts. That’s why I’m here to tell you about Express Train—the online safety training site that’s so effective, it practically slaps you across the face with common sense.

Why You Need Safety Training Yesterday

Step 1: Stop Celebrating Not Screwing Up “Oh, look! Nobody died today! Gold stars for everyone!” Really? That’s what you’re proud of? Let’s call it what it is: bare minimum survival instincts. Celebrating no injuries is like throwing a parade because you remembered to wear pants to work. It’s not an accomplishment; it’s the baseline for existing without catastrophic failure.

Not My Job, My A$$

Let me paint you a picture. You’re at work, clocking in for another day, thinking about how much coffee it’s going to take to survive this meeting, this shift, this life. Suddenly, some bigwig strolls in with their PowerPoint of Doom, droning on about “safety culture” like it’s the second coming of sliced bread. “Not my job,” you mutter under your breath, while Carl in accounting nods off mid-sentence. Newsflash!! You’re part of the problem.

The Greatest Safety Lie Ever Told!

Let’s get something straight. Celebrating a "man hours without a lost time injury" sounds great on the surface. Who doesn’t love a reason to break out the cake, gather the team, and pat ourselves on the back? But here’s the thing; more often than not, these celebrations are nothing more than well-polished corporate theater, masking a far darker reality.

Holidaze of Hazards! How to Deck the Halls Without Wrecking Your Balls!

Ah, the holidays. That magical time of year when common sense takes a back seat to good cheer, eggnog flows like a river, and your living room transforms into a festive death trap. As a self-proclaimed purveyor of hard truths and absurd humor, let me guide you through the holiday hazards lurking behind every twinkling light. Because nothing says "Merry Christmas" like avoiding an ER visit.

Stan and the Wedding-Day Paint Job Disaster and the World's Ugliest Truck

Let me tell you the legend of Stan and Dave and the World’s Ugliest Truck. So, it’s a Friday. Not just any Friday—Friday before Dave’s wedding. Dave, being a man of impeccable timing, decides to paint a dump truck mere hours before walking down the aisle. And not just any truck. No, this truck is getting the worst green you can imagine. You know that shade of green that only exists in nature when your baby’s diaper has taken on a life of its own? Yeah. That green.

Stan and the Table Saw of Doom: A Tale of a Missing Finger and Missing Common Sense

It was a regular Saturday in Stan’s garage, which looked like a cross between a hoarder’s paradise and a scene from a bad horror movie. Tools were scattered like he’d been robbed by a particularly indecisive burglar, and the dust on everything suggested the EPA should’ve been notified. And in the center of this disaster? The crown jewel: a table saw. Not just any table saw—this was the one that was about to teach Stan a lesson he’d never forget (or stop being teased about).

Naked and Afraid Isn’t a Business Strategy!

Here’s the thing about machines—they’re not exactly sentient, but they sure know how to ruin your day. A spinning blade doesn’t care about your plans for Saturday. A conveyor belt isn’t going to slow down because you’ve got a vacation coming up.

Sparks, Dumbasses, and Dead Batteries. A Guide to Not Blowing Yourself Up!

It’s a brisk morning, and you’re already late for work. You hop in your car, turn the key, and… click-click-click. Dead battery. Awesome. Now you’re standing in the driveway, holding jumper cables like you’re defusing a bomb, wondering which clamp goes where while silently praying to the gods of auto repair. Well, friend, I’m here to make sure your dumbass doesn’t turn your car into a barbecue.

I Just Stepped Into a Shock-Fest of Epic Proportions!

So there I was, minding my own business, strolling through the shop like I owned the place (because, well, I do). It was a typical day; sparks flying, machines humming, and the smell of progress in the air. Then something caught my eye—a crime scene.

Why Safety Training Shouldn't Suck: A Love Letter to Hard Work and Common Sense

I know safety training has a reputation for being about as thrilling as watching paint dry. It’s often a collection of dull PowerPoint slides and monotone lectures that leave you wondering if falling asleep is, ironically, a workplace hazard. But I’ve got good news: it doesn’t have to be that way. Let me introduce you to Express Train, the online safety training platform that’s finally done what I thought was impossible—they’ve made safety training not suck.

Why Smart Business Owners Are Betting Big on Safety Training

Hey there, business owners. It’s me, your friendly neighborhood advocate for common sense, elbow grease, and the things that actually work. Today, I want to talk about something that doesn’t always get the attention it deserves: safety training. Yep, it may not sound as exciting as finding the next big client or closing a deal, but trust me, it’s one of the smartest investments you can make.

STAN Isn’t Just Some Guy on the Loading Dock

STAN isn't just some guy...

Surviving the Pit of Confined Space Adventures

The sun’s barely up, the coffee’s barely kicking in, and we’re about to dive into the wonderland of workplace hazards known as Confined Space Entry. This is the land of low oxygen, high risk, and even higher chances of someone named Stan doing something impressively dumb. And, presiding over all of this is Brow Beat’em Bob – a man whose glare has ended more wars than diplomacy ever did. But, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s meet the team.

The Fiery Tale of Stan and Super Dave’s Safety Shortcut

Let me tell you about a day at Larry's Locomotive Works, a fine establishment in Toledo, Ohio, where safety is generally only a thought that flickers as dimly as Stan's decision-making skills. Larry's Locomotive Works isn't your run-of-the-mill repair shop; no, it’s a bustling temple of American engineering, where things are built to run on rails and apparently also explode on occasion.

Meet "Stan the Man," Loose Clothes, Big Problem

Hey there.. today, I’m all tangled up as Stan the Man. You might recognize him — decked out in loose pants and an oversized T-shirt that says, “Can’t Touch This.” I’m not sure if Stan’s going for a rap star vibe or just a man who really loves his ventilation, but either way, those extra flappy duds are about to cost him and...not just his pride.

GFCIs: The Jobsite’s Unsung Hero... and How They Save You From Lighting Up Like a Christmas Tree

If you don’t have a healthy respect for your GFCI, you might as well wear a t-shirt that says, “I enjoy a good zap.” Because that’s what we’re dealing with here. Electricity, my friends, is not a "choose your own adventure" novel. It's more like, "Do everything right, or suddenly you’re auditioning to play a lightbulb in the next Pixar movie." Spoiler alert: no one wins that audition. What Even Is a GFCI, and Why Should You Care?

Safety Blindness of 'It Won't Happen to Me'

Stan approaches each day with a mindset that might remind one of a child learning to ride a bike for the first time: confident yet unprepared, blissfully unaware of potential pitfalls. For Stan, personal protective equipment (PPE) is "for show," safety protocols are "mere suggestions," and caution tape is, of course, "a lovely touch of yellow."

The Dirty Truth About New Hire Safety

Let me paint you a picture. It’s Monday morning, and the sun’s barely up. A truck rolls into the yard, new hires piling out, eager to start their first day. They’ve got clean boots, fresh hard hats, and the kind of enthusiasm you don’t see after someone’s been on the job for a while. They’re ready to work, ready to impress.

Truth About Load Distribution and Securement: It Ain’t Just Straps and Chains

Hey there, friends. Today, we’re talking about something that may not seem glamorous but is absolutely essential. It’s the kind of thing that, if done right, no one notices. But if you screw it up—well, let’s just say everyone’s gonna know about it real quick.

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